How often do we as men think about women? What value have we placed on having a woman by our side? Have we placed them as idols in our lives? Before the alpha male in us answers with an automatic no, let’s search our hearts for the answer. Remembering our first childhood crush that we couldn't stop daydreaming about. Growing up watching our favourite actors chasing the hottest girl in school. Looking at those guys work all school year long just to finally get the girl. We see that and we think that it’s the way it has to be and that the guy that gets the most girls is ‘the man’. Pre-programming us to keep score using the amount of women that we get to validate us.
From that point onwards we may have tried to become ‘the popular’ guy, the one that all the girls want, often doing whatever it takes. When we work out in the gym for hours; are we really doing it to strengthen and train or are we trying to catch the eye of the pretty girl in the gym? Ask ourselves, what is motivating us? Who are we trying to please and what is our ultimate goal? If we are honest with ourselves are the goals we set for personal fitness, career, our dream car or our wardrobe, actually for us? Or are they for the women we hope to impress?
REALITY CHECK. What if we stopped focusing all our energy on women and created a generation of young men who grew up with reality that women don’t define us. We need to respect them and not worship them. Helping the future generation learn that rejection from women is not the end of the world, but the beginning of a lifelong lesson. We hear of men losing their mental stability, health, wealth or a combination of them all; over ‘her’. Sometimes the very treasure we seek is also seeking us for the wrong reasons. Impulsive decisions that we make to spend too much or have casual sex; have we been trying to buy our way into a woman’s heart? We need to come to the realization that we are all created equally. So why have we allowed ourselves to be lead to believe that women are meant to be idolized and worshiped? This obsession causes us to stare at women, be easily intimidated, become insecure and may even create doubt in the minds of husbands into thinking that there has got to be something more out there. We may begin to idolize the fantasy over the reality.
It often begins early on in school, feeling the intoxication of our first love and wanting to be around her all the time and doing whatever we can to keep her. Neglecting school work and friends to be with her. Was it all about women? Their approval and affirmation seemed like it was all we needed to be considered ‘manly’ and validated. We may find ourselves looking at women everywhere we go. When we are getting ready to go out, whether it’s to the gym, the office or with friends; who are we getting ready for? Often women have walked a fine line between a true partner and the temptress that we have sought out, hunted and tried to make fit. Apps like Tinder, Plenty of Fish and eHarmony, are simply electronic ways to base the value and worth of someone off of a picture or a casual hook-up. It’s no wonder why the wealthiest industry in the world is pornography. An industry that makes millions off of creating an escape for men, simultaneously setting us up to fail, idolize and worship these women. Are we spending our lifetime trying to fulfill a lifestyle that the media has painted for us? Looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side? When in reality, if you learn to love yourself you start to realize that the right person will come along to love you. She will find a well-constructed foundation, built on core values, not values that have been created by what you ‘think’ women want. Remove the ego and let go of the pride; now ask yourself do you want to continue to worship and idolize?
"Let every man be respected and no man be idolized." - Albert Einstein
Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.