Fear

Of the six basic emotions, fear is unique and arguably the most powerful because our survival literally depends on it, or at least it used too.  We are all born fearless, as children we go into the world without a care in the world, ready to take it all on.  As we grow up fears are learned, quickly and powerfully through traumatic events; learned behaviours and exposure to physical or emotional abuse.  Fear is often the root cause of feeling inadequate, feeling rejected, insecure, and feeling like a failure. 

Take the fear of rejection as an example.  Clearly, there is actually nothing dangerous about being rejected.  If we think about it, who has been fatally wounded by rejection?  But to some, the biological reaction to rejection feels like being mortally wounded.  As a result, we as men, begin to avoid the very thing that we are afraid of; only increasing the power that the fear has over us.  Have you ever stopped to think about the consequences that fear has had on your life?

REALITY CHECK.  Fear is crippling.  It ruminates inside of our minds, spreads inside of our spirits and at times it can become what guides our decisions.  We may never try new things or ask for that raise we know we deserve because of our fears.  Often we find ourselves taking the easy way out by avoiding the fear, which in reality is the worst thing we can do.  The sad thing is that although fear is a natural occurrence and something all men have; only a small percentage of us will actually realize the unhealthy fear we have and stand up to it and kick its ass.  Why are we slaves to our fears?  What if we knew for certain if we stand up to fear we could be successful and fulfilled?  Look at Steve Jobs or Michael Jordan, both became legends in their fields by accomplishing what so many thought they couldn’t.  They overcame their fears and defied what people said about them.  You have to do things that push the edges of your fears, proving yourself wrong and building up your confidence.    

Fear does not have to control your life.  I’m not saying we should go and do reckless, impulsive, self-destructive things.  But what I will say is that we can no longer allow fear to keep us in a box and limit ourselves.  Begin by making a list, identify the fears that you have in your life.  Get rid of behaviours like avoidance, or labelling, which give them power over you.  Assess the reality; is it a healthy fear that will actually help with your basic survival?  Or are you taking on others fears as if they were your own? As men, we all have fears that we have allowed to control us.  Let us no longer pretend that we don’t have them in our lives and by facing them we can remove these stumbling blocks to achieving success and ultimately living a healthier happier, more fulfilled life. 

INSPIRATION – KEEP THIS IN YOUR HEART

 

 F.E.A.R. – Forget everything and run or forget everything and rise.  It’s your choice. 

 

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.  - Jack Canfield