How many times have you heard the saying, “There are two sides to every story?” Was it you saying it defensively? Ladies, did you tell all your girlfriends about his betrayal, dishonesty and wrongdoings? Some of us may have believed is that the person telling us the story about all the cheating, lying and neglect being done to them was 100% factual, painting the perfect picture as the victim.
The revelation is that we as men have our sides of the story too. But the majority of the time we keep our stories in our vault, in a file stored away in our head. As a man you may have felt at times, you haven’t been able to tell your side of why your marriage ended or why a close friendship broke up. Society tells us to “man up” or to “let it go,” just to keep the peace and slide out the back door; letting her be the voice of the relationship and telling others “how it really happened.”
REALITY CHECK. Do you heal by sharing all the details of what went wrong, forgetting to include what went right? Or do you heal by storing it away and pretending it didn’t happen? Every dispute, every divorce, every broken relationship has two sides of the story. Men, were you able to tell her that her words hurt you? That being call a “loser” when you were working hard, and not being able to communicate sealed your fate? Did you bring her flowers and go through the motions when in reality you had left the relationship years ago? Did she then cut you off when it’s time for her to listen to you; causing you to shut off and search for that outside validation from another woman? Each time, leaving yourself feeling cold, unemotional and detached.
As men, we are taught that we are never the victim, casting a shadow over us that it was all our fault. Sometimes it only takes one word, over and over to cause us to stray or to detach. We are taught to tough it out. Men it’s time to tell your side of the story out of the vault. Just be honest and tell what you were unable to communicate back then. It’s going to allow you to heal emotionally, let go of any resentment you have kept and mend broken relationships.
As part of our healing, it’s important for men to face the facts and why you have done what you have done. It’s also important to tell your side so that your friends, family and maybe even the “women scorned” can be freed from the questions and assumptions that they may have made about you in the past. Tell your side and truly move on to the next chapter in your life. There are two sides to the story, everyone has to own their part and take accountability.
“Two sides to every story, yet people end up listening to one side and believe it to be the truth.” – anonymous
“Before you assume, learn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.” – anonymous
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